What’s the Difference Between a Saxophone and …
Q: What's the difference between a tenor saxophone player and a macaw?
A: One is loud, obnoxious, and noisy, and the other is a bird.
Q: What's the difference between a garbage truck and a baritone saxophone?
A: One's a massive, noisy, scum-encrusted hulk and the other is a public sanitation vehicle.
Q: What's the difference between a tenor saxophone solo and a bottomless pit?
A: It's reasonable to hope that a bottomless pit won't go on forever.
Q: What's the difference between a tenor saxophone and a baritone saxophone?
A: The baritone holds bigger plants.
Q: What's the difference between a saxophone and a trampoline?
A: You take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline.
Q: What's the difference between a saxophonist and garbage?
A: The garbage gets taken out once a week.
Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower?
A: Vibrato
Q: What's the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower?
- Lawnmowers sound better in small ensembles.
- The neighbors are upset if you borrow a lawnmower and don't return it.
- The grip.
Q: What's the difference between a baritone saxophone and a chain saw?
A: The exhaust
How Many Saxophonists Does It Take…
Q: How many baritone saxophone players does it take to pop popcorn?
A: Two - one to hold the popper and one to shake the stove.
Q: How many tenor saxophone players does it take to change a flat tire?
A: Four - one to change the tire, one to work the jack, and the other two to contemplate on how John Coltrane would have done it.
Q: How many saxophone players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Just one, but he keeps messing up and complaining that none of his reeds work.
Saxophone Players
There are two guys...One plays a contrabass saxophone and the other plays the contrabassoon. They decide to get together and play music for the local townspeople. After a couple of months of working up their reputation and getting more gigs, they decide to go big with their talent. They go to the local theater and talk to the man in charge to set up a gig. The man looks at them and sadly replies, "As good as you both play and as much as I would love to, unfortunately, we don't allow contraband in our theater."
Q: Why did the first chair alto player play so many wrong notes?
A: Because he kept ignoring the key signature -- he thought it was a suggestion.
Q: How do you know when a saxophone player is at your door?
A: They don't know which key to use or where to enter.
Q: What did the saxophone player get on his IQ test?
A: Drool
A man is shipwrecked on a jungle island and is greeted by natives. In the distance, he hears the sound of drums. He asks what the drums are for and the chief answers, "The drums must not stop." The man is forced to stay the night in the natives’ village. All through the night, the drums keep playing, so he is unable to sleep. He gets up in the morning, goes to the chief and asks why the drums couldn't stop. The chief answered, "Because, when drum solo stop, sax solo start."
Q: Did you hear about the saxophonist who played in tune?
A: Neither did I
Q: If you were out in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an in-tune tenor saxophone player, an out-of-tune tenor saxophone player, or Santa Claus?
A: The out-of-tune sax player! You were hallucinating the other two.
Q: What do you call a cow that plays the saxophone?
A: A blues moo-sician
Q: What do you call a good saxophone section?
A: Impossible
Jokes About the Saxophone, as an Instrument
Q: What do a saxophone and a baseball have in common?
A: People cheer when you hit them with a bat.
Q: What do you call a perfect pitch?
A: A saxophone landing in the middle of a dumpster!
Q: How is a tenor saxophone solo like a sneeze?
A: You can tell it's coming but you can't do anything about it.
Which is the ideal place to practice on a saxophone?
A: In an enemy’s bedroom.
B: Five fathoms under the surface of the Pacific Ocean.
C: In a deserted coal mine.
D: None of the above.
Correct Answer: D: None of the above. A saxophone player never ever practices. The risk of learning to play is much too great.
Contrary to popular belief, the saxophone is a percussion instrument, meant to be beaten by a hammer. A large hammer.
Q: What do a saxophone and a lawsuit have in common?
A: Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
Q: What do you call a thousand saxophones at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!
A Joke List Wouldn’t Be Complete Without a Chicken Joke...
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get away from the saxophone recital!
Ba-dum ching! Hope you found some entertaining saxophone jokes to add to your repertoire!
